Blog

      In this month's blog I'm going to expand on some of the thoughts I wrote about in a post last fall titled 'In Praise of Wandering'. When I was first studying art and full of angst about how I could get better at it, I can clearly remember thinking my teachers knew all the moves and always had a foolproof plan to get from Point A to Point B. Never, ever, would I have suspected they might feel lost in a painting and unsure of which way to go, as I so often felt with my own work.

      Fast forward 4 or 5 decades, and I rather doubt my teachers had the psychic abilities I was projecting on them. I'm not sure that was a goal for them anymore than it is for me today. Oh sure... a part of me would love to control what happens at every moment, but another part thinks a lot of the fun would evaporate if the surprises were eliminated. It's probably a stretch to say I deliberately set up situations where I'll find myself lost, but making use of accidents that couldn't be planned is all part of the adventure. I've quit panicking at the idea of being lost because the feeling now is more like traveling to a city I'm familiar with, but stumbling across an interesting area of that city that I haven't been in before. Assuming there's no imminent danger, there's also no big hurry to get out of it because I know I have the ability to retrace my steps and reorient myself. When I can follow the 'lostness' in a painting, it often leads to some of my favorite passages -- a thick palette knife stroke with a tiny streak of color or a mysterious edge that relates well and would not strengthen the composition to go back and define it further. Making use of and building on some of these moments of serendipity are what gives a painting the uniqueness I'm after. The end result is something I couldn't repeat if I wanted to and I would know better than to even try. 

     So, in this sense, being lost is no longer something I fear or avoid. The back and forth process of building shapes that become more established and solid as I work forces me to move wet paint into wet paint which is essential to creating the edges I'm after. So much of the magic of a painting happens in these places and the fun part is figuring a way out. It's like a puzzle I set up for myself and then try to solve, which is totally engaging. At this point, I'd say if I did a painting where I never had a lost moment I probably wouldn't be pleased with it. It's not like I want to totally rely on happy accidents but I certainly don't mind taking advantage of the ones that fit when they present themselves. At it's best when I'm working this way, my focus is skipping all over and landing on the essential notes and relationships. Eventually some of the 'lost' areas hopefully begin to make sense just by being in context to the more defined areas.  Years of trying different solutions has certainly honed my instincts so that I now have more confidence about solving challenges that come up, but the groundless feeling never exactly goes away either. 

     Of course there are times that things start out lost and get more lost and eventually it becomes such a mess that I scrape it down and begin again. Still, I've bombed out of far more painting attempts by trying to hold on too tightly than I have by loosening my grip and playing around with the paint. 

     It's awkward to try to describe this process and I never would want to convey the idea that this is the way every painter should work. Cautiously adventurous is I guess how I would describe not just painting but my way of living my life--cooking ,travel, etc. Looking for the fun while also hedging my bets and not going too crazy. Everyone has their own path, and that's how it should be, so I always encourage students to listen to and follow their own voice. In conclusion though, I would advise painters to ignore any voices that tell them to give up because everybody else is always in control and you are the only one who doesn't know what you're doing. The next time you are painting and have that lost feeling, try working with it a bit longer and see what you come up with.

'Not all who wander are lost' -- J.R.R. Tolkien